Angelus Custos

By Loudielyn

I am haunted by flickering street lights.  Almost every night, as I’m making my way home or to/from the hospital to see Isla, there is always one (if not two and, one night, three) street lights that shut off exactly as I become parallel to them.  There is no rhyme or reason to the particular street lights – this phenomenon occurs on different roads and different times with different street lights.  It gives me the strange sensation that I’m being watched – maybe by an angel; however, whether the angel hails from the North or South Pole of Christianity, is not certain.  I’m hoping for north of course – maybe it’s Isla’s guardian angel letting me know that they’ll be keeping a close eye on her while I’m away.  It’s a thought that makes me smile.  Note to reader:  I understand that this is more than likely a simple coincidence and that I’ve simply been driven batty by more than two and a half months on the NICU roller coaster J

By Crazy_Winged_Wolf

Ooh La La

What's the French word for "embargo"?

I saw a commercial the other day for Grey Goose’s new La Poire (read La-Pwaah) which is pear flavored vodka.  The commercial featured an American speaking voiceover telling us how the Anjou region of France somehow makes Grey Goose’s pears stand apart from the rest.  The voiceover ends with the gentleman pronouncing the name “La Poire” with a perfect French accent (nowhere to be found in the rest of the commercial).  It’s as if the advertising world thinks it can throw a few frenchy words into a commercial and we won’t be able to help being sucked into wanting their product.  As if our whole country is filled with brainless tourists.

I'm overreacting.  I understand that.  You know what it really comes down to for me?  It grates on my nerves when someone speaks an entire monologue in their normal speaking voice and then has to OVER-PRONOUNCE the accent on the only foreign word in the whole spiel.  It smacks of pretension, no?  

Ovenless Bun Update

Isla had a GREAT night last night and is doing well so far today.  I am so proud of her!  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/islamarie/journal

In other news:  I am absolutely loving the song "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.  I must have replayed it at least 4 times while I was breast pumping this morning.  So, yes....there I was hooked up to my pumping machine (hereinafter referred to as the "Suctionater") with the rate set on "good Lord, I think my boobs are going to be ripped off" and trying to chair dance to "Rolling in the Deep."  All the while, my trusty "Do not disturb" sign was on my office door which is the only safeguard between me and an office full of people, any one of which who would be traumatized upon seeing my impromptu jam session. 

Oh, and by the way?  Pumping is getting REALLY old.  Even though I do it every 3 hours, it feels like I've just finished when it's almost time to rev up the Suctionater again. *sigh*  I know it's good for Isla to keep up this madness, I just wish I had one of those hands-free pumping corsets so I could actually get some work done!  Although, in the interim, I suppose I have to settle for looking like this woman when I pump:

PumpEase Advertisement

....HA!  Just seeing if you were awake!  Yeah, right!  I'm still in the pony-tail, bags under the eyes, extra pounds on the thigh mode.  Besides, I only wear my ethereal headgear and shawl for Luke! :)

Isla Marie, October 20, 2010

Our beautiful daughter, Isla Marie, was born at 5:05 p.m. via c-section on Wednesday, October 20, 2010.  She's doing really well considering she was only 25 weeks +1 when she was born.  We're so proud of our little lady.  She has a caringbridge.org website where I try to post updates on her progress often.  You can check it out here:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/islamarie

Isla Marie

Well, we have some good news regarding Baby and some not great news.  First the good news: she has a name!  Isla Marie.  Now when I'm praying for the little peanut I can be more specific.  Not that I'm worried God will get her mixed up with anyone else :)  Okay, now the not so great news.  I'm in the hospital on bed rest until probably next Tuesday.  Last Tuesday - when Isla was 24 weeks along - we went in for a fairly routine echo of Isla's heart because of some heart issues my DH had when he was born.  Well, Isla's heart looked great.  Unfortunately, for the first time, she was tracking on the small side.  Approximately 1.5 weeks small to be exact - which is a lot when you're only 24 weeks old to begin with.  Also, while Isla otherwise appeared to be healthy, her cord flow was clearly compromised.  We were told on Tuesday to come back in last Thursday to do another doppler on her cord.  In the interim though, they gave me a 48 course of steroids to basically boost Isla's underdeveloped lungs in the event they took her early.  On Thursday, the cord numbers were even worse.  So, I was admitted last Thursday and kept overnight for observation until around 5:30 p.m. Friday night.  It was pretty scary actually, because we knew there was a chance the doctors were going to make the decision to take her out.  At only a little over 24 weeks, there would be a whole lot of complications that could occur for Isla.  The weirdest part, was that I was exhibiting virtually zero symptoms.  Even today, I still have not had any pain, cramping, bleeding, etc.  Some of the common symptoms some women might feel if they are going into early labor.  Really, the best way to describe it is that I'm basically fine and Isla is basically fine - it's the connection b/n us where she gets her nutrients that is faulty.  Obviously Isla can't stay in me for the duration if she is continues to receive limited nutrients. 

Well, they sent me home last Friday night b/c her numbers looked a little bit better.  We were told to come back Monday (yesterday) for another ultrasound.  Yesterday her numbers were the worst yet.  Now, not only is the flow limited, it's actually zero flow on her resting beats.  The next step will be for the flow to become "reverse" which, as the doctors describe it, would be an "ominous" sign. They admitted me yesterday for observation and I just found out this morning from the perinatologist that he wants me to stay in the hospital until at least next Tuesday when Isla will be 26 weeks and ready to be measured again.  The point is to apparently keep me calm and readily observable.  They'll be doing daily ultrasounds to check her cord doppler.  It could go reverse at any time though, so there's no guarantee that she might not come out tomorrow.  It's basically a waiting game right now.  I'm stressing out thinking of work which is what I'm not supposed to do, but I can't seem to help it.  I might be sending my lovely DH to work tomorrow for some work that I can do from my hospital bed.  ARGH.  Hubby went back to work today for a half day for the first time since last Thursday.  He should actually be on his way to the hospital right now.  Maybe with dinner?  That would be awesome!

Sleep Slacker

Okay, so I stayed up WAY too late last night/early this morning...I couldn't even tell you when I actually fell asleep.  What was I doing?  Solving the world's problems?  Getting some darn laundry done for once?  Um, no.  I was cram-watching episodes of Dexter.  Boy was I feeling it today.  I woke up with a truly splitting headache that seemed to linger for hours.  Also, since I'm prego, my headache fighting arsenal is limited to Tylenol which generally has no effect (I can't wait to be able to take Ibuprofen again!).  I was barely able to roll myself off the couch - where I'd fallen asleep with the TV on - at 7:30 a.m., throw some clothes on and get to work at a respectable hour.  What possesses me to do that to myself?  Am I harboring some misguided desire to be a freshman in college again?  Somehow I don't think the "I just rolled out of bed and came to work in my pajamas look" will go over well when I have court appearances.  The most pathetic part of my Dexter binge is that I get the seasons through Netflix. That's right - I could have kept the darn DVD for as long as I freakin' wanted.  Now my day was negatively affected because I've been tired, had a headache and was rushed out the door.  I think a good goal for me would be to try to get my lazy butt into bed every night by 10:30 p.m. 

I'm constantly reminded about the Slight Edge at work in my life.  Last night was an example of making a dumb/bad decision that won't necessarily kill me or irreparably harm my life, but if I continue to make the same dumb/bad decision every night for years could do my life incredible harm.  Just say no!  Get some Z's.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times:  television is the security blanket of America.  I need to SNAP OUT OF IT!  No offense Dexter - you're awesome. 

Journal

I've decided to take the leap and start keeping a journal.  I'm REALLY going to try and be faithful to the journal writing process.  I'd like the journal to more than just capture my everyday life and instead be something that will allow me to track new ideas, personal growth, etc.  So far, I've purchased a journal (baby steps).  The first blank page is a little intimidating, but I'm resolved to write my first entry sometime today. 

Due February 1, 2011

The hubster and I are expecting a baby girl early next year and we couldn't be more excited!

My friend Steve says Baby looks like Alfred Hitchcock....Hubby says he can tell she's already a looker.  For the sake of our daughter, I hope Hubby is right :)

True Conservatism will prevail!